The day I quit was the hardest day. Thank God for the patch! Honestly I felt fine physically (which I think was the patch) but mentally I was a mess. My morning sucked because I couldn’t have my morning cigarette as I couldn’t smoke on the way to work. Work took forever because I couldn’t have my morning and afternoon breaks to get coffee and have a smoke. I had no idea what to do at lunch to avoid the temptation of smoking. When I finally got home I felt crazy. I had never gone all day without having a cigarette and now I wanted one so bad I didn’t know what to do. Being afraid to go out I decided to clean. I cleaned everything. I still had a half a pack of cigarettes which I put in my jewelry box knowing that if I got rid of them I would it would put me over the edge. It is hard to explain, but for me it couldn’t be the end-all of smoking. If someone (including myself) says I absolutely can never do something I will just have to do it. Knowing that, I couldn’t tell myself I could never have one, just that I was trying my best to stop. Keeping the cigarettes around made me feel strong and in control.
That first week I made some big changes. Going to bars was too hard so I had to stop going out for awhile. Luckily my friends didn’t smoke so that wasn’t a problem but I needed to fill time. It is amazing how much time smoking uses up. Reading was hard because I used to smoke while reading and TV was the same. The only thing I could think of doing that made smoking hard was knitting and working out, so that’s what I did. I always loved knitting and it is very hard to knit and smoke so I started knitting like crazy.
That first week was the hardest. After that I started feeling better. The physical part was not as important and the patch was taking care of everything else. My stomach problems were going away and I started to feel healthier. This feeling made me want to get healthy. I started eating better and began working out. Ultimately this is what helped the most. I got healthy. Working out and eating healthy were the motivation I needed to keep from smoking. Over the weeks the followed I still felt like I lost my best friend (cigarettes) but I felt like I was replacing it with a new friend. (working out). Then I got sick, really sick. I was so sick that I literally stayed in bed for 5 days straight and for the first time I didn’t even think of cigarettes. Once I felt better I realized I had not put my patch on for 5 days and didn’t know what to do. After 5 days the nicotine was now out of my system so putting on the patch (I was on the second step) would be putting it in my system but I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to resist having a cigarette without the patch. I went out and got the lowest step patches and decided to carry them around with me and place them everywhere just in case I needed one. I never did. After being sick I never used the patch again.
I didn’t consider myself a non-smoker for some time. I would say it took a good 9 months before I stopped thinking about having a cigarette on a daily basis. It has now been 2 years and 4 months since I quit and I hardly think about it. That first year I ended up loosing 20 pounds and am now the healthiest I have ever been in my life.
Looking back at how I did it there were some key things. First, I didn’t act like it was the end of the world, I didn’t tell myself I was never going to smoke ever again. I told myself I was in control and that I was going to not have one for a while, not looking too far into the future. Second, I used the patch. I really don’t think I could have made it without it. It was hard enough without the nicotine cravings. Third, I stopped doing the things that made me think about smoking. You can’t stop doing everything (like waking up in the morning) but you can tweak things. Instead of getting up in the morning, making coffee, watching some TV and having a cigarette, I slept in later, got up, got ready and left. (leaving no time for TV and cigarette time). I stopped going to bars until I was strong enough, etc. Fourth, I replaced smoking with healthy activities like working out and knitting. You cannot smoke and work out and it is very hard to smoke and knit. Knitting also kept my hands busy. Fifth, I hung around non-smokers, chewed gum (a lot) and kept busy. If you have a lot of time to sit around you will think about smoking a lot more.
Like I said before, when I quit I got healthy. Also, my relationships with my family and husband improved. Most importantly my self confidence improved as I gained control over my life. Quitting smoking was really the best decision I ever made in my life and because of that decision, my life is 100% better today.
From your guide:
Way to go Lauren! Smoking cigarettes is a deadly habit and we all hope that you continue on your smoke-free journey. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It will hopefully inspire others who need the courage to take that first step.
Email interview with Lauren conducted on 6/19/2008.
